You and your partner have one son in elementary school and he seems to have little interest in sports or anything other than video games. Your husband feels your son should be more active and involved in sports. Without consulting your son, your husband signs him up for the soccer team. You are frustrated and feel your husband should only sign him up for activities and sports your son asks to join.
A. warn your partner that he’ll ruin the relationship with your son, and he’ll grow to dislike his father as he is forced to try soccer
B. actively listen to your partner's view to understand why it matters to your husband that your son is signed up for the soccer team
C. tell your partner you've just discovered the soccer team is full and they can’t take any more players this year, and maybe even next year
D. come up with a compromise that considers everyone's opinion. For example...have a family meeting to discuss activities to keep your son's body healthy and active and ask your son what sports interest him. Provide some choices for him (soccer, basketball, swimming, tennis, track, karate).
If you selected D or B, you're doing a great job! You're on the right track towards compromise and effective communication with your partner. Selecting D and B might feel intimidating if you and your partner argue around differences or your family doesn't have a healthy way to have meetings. So, we understand how you might default to choosing options like A or C as coping mechanisms in order to keep the peace or manipulate the situation.
We understand your struggle, and Imago can teach you and your partner how to dialogue so each of you can truly hear one another's perspective on a deeper level and work toward real understanding to connect deeper.